Episode 42

SHUT DOWN MINI-SERIES: Why Do I Shut Down When Things Get Heavy?

Shutdowns can look and feel different for each of us.  Sometimes deep and immediate, sometimes a slow drip toward isolation. Numbness, wordlessness, sometimes seething, sometimes out-of-body.  We all shut down sometimes, even if it isn’t our usual modus operandi.  But why do they happen in the first place?  And what can we do about them?  It all starts with noticing.  In Part One of our series on shutdowns, we talk about trauma responses in the body and our developing brain throughout the life cycle—it turns out our brains don’t stop developing after adolescence.  We share our personal experiences with shutting down and—surprise!—they’re very different from each other.  We talk about self-soothing versus coregulation.  We ask: When one of us is shutting down, what would be a relationally healthy thing to do?  The ultimate goal is always in undoing the aloneness.

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About the Podcast

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Why Does My Partner
Answering questions from people who want help in relationships.

About your hosts

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Jules Shore

Juliane Taylor Shore LMFT, LPC, SEP specializes in trauma recovery and relational health. She has worked with couples and adults in her private practice in Austin, TX since 2009. She teaches Interpersonal Neurobiology to her interns, at local universities, and privately. When she's not working, Jules spends time in the hill country and with her husband, daughter, and dog. Learn more about Jules’ teachings at cleariskind.com
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rebecca wong

Rebecca Wong LCSWR, SEP has been practicing psychotherapy since 2003, blending modalities for relational trauma healing. She maintains a private practice in New Paltz, NY on unceded Lenapehoking land where she reside with her husband, their teens, and a handful of four-legged furry mischief-makers. Rebecca works virtually with people in the states of New York, Colorado, and Massachusetts. She also offers relationship intensives, experiential workshops. Learn more about Rebecca’s work and podcasts at connectfulness.com
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Vickey Easa

Vickey Easa LICSW has been a therapist since 2008, adding in Relational Life Therapy in 2016. She loves spreading the information of Relational Health to anyone who will listen; professionally AND personally. She sees adults, both individuals, and couples, and recently began public speaking on the topic of Healthy Self Esteem. No pets yet; her husband, two children, and watching TV keep her busy enough. Learn more about Vickey’s work at vickeyeasa.com