Episode 87

Let Go of Focusing on the Relationship When Things in Their Life Get Stressful

What happens inside of your relationship when things in other parts of your life start to get stressful? Maybe it feels like you have less time to dedicate to your partner, or that your energy is just completely spent after a long day, and you just don’t have it in you to be present and relational. That’s the topic of today’s question, and it takes us into a conversation all about integrated vs. unintegrated brain states, windows of tolerance, and why scheduling your spontaneity is such an important part of cherishing your relationship.

Quotes:

“If you want to treat your relationship like it matters, you have to treat it like it matters. You have to cherish the relationship."

“Okay does not mean 'It feels good.' It means 'I believe I can handle this. I trust myself.'”

“If it's not scheduled, it's not really a priority.”

Share your questions with us at whydoesmypartner.com/contact.

If you want to dive in deeper, consider attending our upcoming workshops. Learn more at whydoesmypartner.com/events.

Mentioned in this episode:

Let's take a moment to acknowledge our amazing sponsor The Academy of Therapy Wisdom. Jules is one of their many amazing educators. And because you listen to us, the Therapy Wisdom team is offering a secret code to give you free access to one of Jules' 1 hour Wise Conversations. Visit Therapywisdom.com or click the link in the show notes and use the ‘WDMP’ discount code."

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About the Podcast

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Why Does My Partner
Answering questions from people who want help in relationships.

About your hosts

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Jules Shore

Juliane Taylor Shore LMFT, LPC, SEP specializes in trauma recovery and relational health. She has worked with couples and adults in her private practice in Austin, TX since 2009. She teaches Interpersonal Neurobiology to her interns, at local universities, and privately. When she's not working, Jules spends time in the hill country and with her husband, daughter, and dog. Learn more about Jules’ teachings at cleariskind.com
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rebecca wong

Rebecca Wong LCSWR, SEP has been practicing psychotherapy since 2003, blending modalities for relational trauma healing. She maintains a private practice in New Paltz, NY on unceded Lenapehoking land where she reside with her husband, their teens, and a handful of four-legged furry mischief-makers. Rebecca works virtually with people in the states of New York, Colorado, and Massachusetts. She also offers relationship intensives, experiential workshops. Learn more about Rebecca’s work and podcasts at connectfulness.com
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Vickey Easa

Vickey Easa LICSW has been a therapist since 2008, adding in Relational Life Therapy in 2016. She loves spreading the information of Relational Health to anyone who will listen; professionally AND personally. She sees adults, both individuals, and couples, and recently began public speaking on the topic of Healthy Self Esteem. No pets yet; her husband, two children, and watching TV keep her busy enough. Learn more about Vickey’s work at vickeyeasa.com