Episode 110

Reflect and Listen?

As couples’ therapists, the most common questions we get are about communication. But what does it take to make that work in a relationship? That’s such a big question, that we’re dedicating this entire season to talking about communication!

First off, how do you listen when your partner brings up something sensitive? Y’all, listening is really vulnerable. It means putting yourself aside for a moment to be there for the other person and acknowledge that you may have caused them pain. When you’re in that space it’s so easy to get defensive or go into shame and then, you guessed it… you’re not listening anymore!

Never fear, in this episode we’re sharing some key skills for you to try out right away, whether you’re the listener or the talker. So have a listen, subscribe, and as always, take care of each other the best you can.

Quotes:       

“As a culture, we do a pretty decent job at saying ‘here’s how to speak up for yourself’…and a pretty icky job at saying ‘here’s how to listen.’”

“Listen with the possibility of believing your partner.”

"We struggle to listen to when we struggle to sit with grief"

"Remorse can come very naturally if you let it.”

Jules’ book is out now! Get Setting Boundaries that Stick: How Neurobiology Can Help You Rewire Your Brain to Feel Safe, Connected, and Empowered wherever books are sold.

Share your questions with us at whydoesmypartner.com/contact

Dive in deeper with us at our upcoming workshops.

Learn more at whydoesmypartner.com/events

About the Podcast

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Why Does My Partner
Answering questions from people who want help in relationships.

About your hosts

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Jules Shore

Juliane (Jules) Taylor Shore LMFT, LPC, SEP is an author, teacher and therapist specializing in integrative therapy for trauma recovery and couples relationships. She specializes in teaching integrative therapy and Interpersonal Neurobiology internationally. She is also the author of Setting Boundaries that Stick: How Neurobiology Can Help You Rewire Your Brain to Feel Safe, Empowered and Connected. You can work with her in small group workshops for those who want to do deep work on their boundaries, relationships and well-being. She also offers intensives in a one on one format for adult individuals and couples. Find out more about her work at julianetaylorshore.com.
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Rebecca Wong

Rebecca Wong LCSW, SEP is a relational trauma therapist and educator. She helps promote experiential learning brain states that conjure new possibilities, integrate felt sense knowings, deepen authenticity, increase trust, and develop practices to support generational wellness. Rebecca specializes in offering experiential relationship intensives for those seeking profound shifts.
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Vickey Easa

Vickey Easa LICSW has been a therapist since 2008, adding in Relational Life Therapy in 2016. She loves spreading the information of Relational Health to anyone who will listen; professionally AND personally. She sees adults, both individuals, and couples, and recently began public speaking on the topic of Healthy Self Esteem. No pets yet; her husband, two children, and watching TV keep her busy enough. Learn more about Vickey’s work at vickeyeasa.com