Episode 36

Not Tell Me When They're Upset

The thing about conflict is that very few of us were given a model of how to work through it in an effective or healthy way.  Some of us grew up in a home where conflict just didn’t happen, and so we grow up at a loss for what to do or assume that any conflict means a relationship is doomed.  Some of us grew up in homes where there was a lot of conflict and it wasn’t handled in healthy ways, leaving us with a set of bad relational habits or some defense mechanisms and fear that may not serve us anymore.  Would you be surprised to hear that, in spite of all this, conflict actually serves a really important function in our relationships? From conflict comes repair, where we learn trust and deeper intimacy.  In this episode, Jules, Rebecca and Vickey break down all the reasons why someone might avoid expressing their upset to you, how conflict and discord functions in relationships, and offer you a map to move through hard things together.   

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About the Podcast

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Why Does My Partner
Answering questions from people who want help in relationships.

About your hosts

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Jules Shore

Juliane Taylor Shore LMFT, LPC, SEP specializes in trauma recovery and relational health. She has worked with couples and adults in her private practice in Austin, TX since 2009. She teaches Interpersonal Neurobiology to her interns, at local universities, and privately. When she's not working, Jules spends time in the hill country and with her husband, daughter, and dog. Learn more about Jules’ teachings at cleariskind.com
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rebecca wong

Rebecca Wong LCSWR, SEP has been practicing psychotherapy since 2003, blending modalities for relational trauma healing. She maintains a private practice in New Paltz, NY on unceded Lenapehoking land where she reside with her husband, their teens, and a handful of four-legged furry mischief-makers. Rebecca works virtually with people in the states of New York, Colorado, and Massachusetts. She also offers relationship intensives, experiential workshops. Learn more about Rebecca’s work and podcasts at connectfulness.com
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Vickey Easa

Vickey Easa LICSW has been a therapist since 2008, adding in Relational Life Therapy in 2016. She loves spreading the information of Relational Health to anyone who will listen; professionally AND personally. She sees adults, both individuals, and couples, and recently began public speaking on the topic of Healthy Self Esteem. No pets yet; her husband, two children, and watching TV keep her busy enough. Learn more about Vickey’s work at vickeyeasa.com