Episode 50
Not Validate What I'm Feeling When I'm Upset
“Why doesn't my partner validate what I'm feeling when I'm upset?” The short answer is, because it’s really hard to do. Oftentimes in the moment, one or both of us is too upset to make a responsive choice rather than a reactionary one. But of course there’s more to it than that. The key is in the ask itself. Is it a question of what is true? Or is it about being heard and understood? How do we validate our partners without invalidating our own feelings and subjective truth? But the magic in the ask is that often, when we are able to set aside our own upset temporarily to be there for our partner, those are the arguments that can be the most transformative in any relationship. Listen in as Vickey, Jules and Rebecca share how this issue surfaces in their relationships and in their practices, and the wisdom they’ve gleaned from those moments.
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