Episode 71
Complain When I Play Golf
It’s a fun one today on the WDMP podcast as we answer a question that’s sounds at first like it’s about hobbies and taking time for things we enjoy, but really gets down to how we distribute resources in our relationship. We discuss how conflicts over fairness can come up when one or both people in a couple are feeling depleted, anxious, or envious, and how to get out of that trap. We’re talking skills like getting curious, making You-turns, and direct requests.
Quotes:
"if you're catching yourself in your partnership caught up in a fairness thing, then what does that mean to you? What is, what is it that you're, you're each seeking fairness around? And what does that fairness represent?"
"…If you are complaining, hold on. You-turn, see if you can word that in a way that's actually request, and then check yourself. Would it be okay if I heard 'no?' If not, it's not a direct request. It's a demand disguised with a question mark."
Share your questions with us at whydoesmypartner.com/contact
If you want to dive in deeper, consider attending our upcoming workshops. Learn more at whydoesmypartner.com/events
This podcast is not a substitute for therapy with a licensed provider.
Mentioned in this episode:
Let's take a moment to acknowledge our amazing sponsor The Academy of Therapy Wisdom. Jules is one of their many amazing educators. And because you listen to us, the Therapy Wisdom team is offering a secret code to give you free access to one of Jules' 1 hour Wise Conversations. Visit Therapywisdom.com or click the link in the show notes and use the ‘WDMP’ discount code."
