Episode 29

Refuse To Apologize

This week’s question “Why does my partner refuse to apologize?” is a big one.  Partly because we’ve all found ourselves in the position of not wanting or outright refusing to apologize to someone.  We’ve all been that person, probably more than once.  And we’ve all been the person on the receiving end of an apology—or the absence of an apology.  We’ve felt that vulnerability in calling attention to our hurt, and hopefully, we’ve all experienced the repair and connection from an apology well-stated.  So, why is such a basic, everyday thing so complicated and infrequent in practice?  And why is an effective apology so hard to do in real life?

Jules, Vickey and Rebecca really break this down, touching on why apologies are so hard both personally and culturally, why they are so vital and world-changing, and also giving each of us a roadmap for how to apologize and receive an apology well.  None of us will get it right every time, but it’s the intent and effort that matters most.  As they say in this episode, “Apologies are master level”, so you might want to bookmark this one to return to again and again.

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This podcast is not a substitute for therapy with a licensed provider.

About the Podcast

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Why Does My Partner
Answering questions from people who want help in relationships.

About your hosts

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Jules Shore

Juliane (Jules) Taylor Shore LMFT, LPC, SEP is an author, teacher and therapist specializing in integrative therapy for trauma recovery and couples relationships. She specializes in teaching integrative therapy and Interpersonal Neurobiology internationally. She is also the author of Setting Boundaries that Stick: How Neurobiology Can Help You Rewire Your Brain to Feel Safe, Empowered and Connected. You can work with her in small group workshops for those who want to do deep work on their boundaries, relationships and well-being. She also offers intensives in a one on one format for adult individuals and couples. Find out more about her work at julianetaylorshore.com.
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Rebecca Wong

Rebecca Wong LCSW, SEP is a relational trauma therapist and educator. She helps promote experiential learning brain states that conjure new possibilities, integrate felt sense knowings, deepen authenticity, increase trust, and develop practices to support generational wellness. Rebecca specializes in offering experiential relationship intensives for those seeking profound shifts.
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Vickey Easa

Vickey Easa LICSW has been a therapist since 2008, adding in Relational Life Therapy in 2016. She loves spreading the information of Relational Health to anyone who will listen; professionally AND personally. She sees adults, both individuals, and couples, and recently began public speaking on the topic of Healthy Self Esteem. No pets yet; her husband, two children, and watching TV keep her busy enough. Learn more about Vickey’s work at vickeyeasa.com