Episode 93

[BONUS] Respect My Boundaries

It’s episode 2 of our mini-series on boundaries, and we’ve got a listener question that we think a lot of our listeners are going to relate to. Have you ever been this person? You told your partner that you wanted something from them, and then they just don’t do it. You’re upset, of course, because they didn’t respect your boundaries! You communicated them clearly enough, so they should have to follow through, right?

…right?

Here’s the thing. Boundaries aren’t about getting other people to do what you want. Actually, what they are about is deciding what you’re going to do when something happens that you don’t like, and then sticking to it. In this episode, we continue our discussion of Jules’ 6 steps for boundary setting with some guidance on communicating your needs and wants and how to create your plan for setting an external boundary. If you haven’t already, check out episode 1 on the mini-series to get caught up on our introduction to boundary-setting, and stay tuned for next week’s episode. We’ll be getting into what happens when boundaries are set, and how to deal with all of the feelings that come up, whether you’re the one setting the boundaries or the one having boundaries communicated to you.  

Quotes:

Boundaries are self-worth in action. You have to see the value of you to see that there’s something worth protecting.

A healthy boundary…is one that’s flexible and honors your truth.

The more protected I am, the more integrated my brain stays, the more relational I can be with you.

This episode is brought to you by Therapy Wisdom.

Share your questions with us at whydoesmypartner.com/contact

If you want to dive in deeper, consider attending our upcoming workshops. Learn more at whydoesmypartner.com/events

About the Podcast

Show artwork for Why Does My Partner
Why Does My Partner
Answering questions from people who want help in relationships.

About your hosts

Profile picture for Jules Shore

Jules Shore

Juliane Taylor Shore LMFT, LPC, SEP specializes in trauma recovery and relational health. She has worked with couples and adults in her private practice in Austin, TX since 2009. She teaches Interpersonal Neurobiology to her interns, at local universities, and privately. When she's not working, Jules spends time in the hill country and with her husband, daughter, and dog. Learn more about Jules’ teachings at cleariskind.com
Profile picture for rebecca wong

rebecca wong

Rebecca Wong LCSWR, SEP has been practicing psychotherapy since 2003, blending modalities for relational trauma healing. She maintains a private practice in New Paltz, NY on unceded Lenapehoking land where she reside with her husband, their teens, and a handful of four-legged furry mischief-makers. Rebecca works virtually with people in the states of New York, Colorado, and Massachusetts. She also offers relationship intensives, experiential workshops. Learn more about Rebecca’s work and podcasts at connectfulness.com
Profile picture for Vickey Easa

Vickey Easa

Vickey Easa LICSW has been a therapist since 2008, adding in Relational Life Therapy in 2016. She loves spreading the information of Relational Health to anyone who will listen; professionally AND personally. She sees adults, both individuals, and couples, and recently began public speaking on the topic of Healthy Self Esteem. No pets yet; her husband, two children, and watching TV keep her busy enough. Learn more about Vickey’s work at vickeyeasa.com