Episode 48

Not Want to Work on Our Relationship

Relationships can be hard, even healthy ones.  They take work.  So, what does it mean when one partner doesn’t want to work on the relationship and the other does? Is it a sign that they care less than the other partner?  Does it mean their efforts are being overlooked?  How much effort and energy should a relationship take anyway?  Putting forth extra effort to take a relationship to new places involves a certain amount of risk.  Because what if it isn’t reciprocated? Will one of you evolve faster than the other?  What if, after all your efforts, the relationship doesn’t change for the better?  Putting in the work can be scary.  And what’s the role of  (and the difference between) safety and complacency?  So many questions…. Jules, Vickey and Rebecca dig into all of it as a listener asks, “Why doesn’t my partner want to work on our relationship?”

Share your questions with us at whydoesmypartner.com/contact

If you want to dive in deeper, consider registering for our online Essential Skills Relationship Bootcamp. Open to individuals, couples and therapists. Learn more at whydoesmypartner.com/events

This podcast is not a substitute for therapy with a licensed provider.

About the Podcast

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Why Does My Partner
Answering questions from people who want help in relationships.

About your hosts

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Jules Shore

Juliane (Jules) Taylor Shore LMFT, LPC, SEP is an author, teacher and therapist specializing in integrative therapy for trauma recovery and couples relationships. She specializes in teaching integrative therapy and Interpersonal Neurobiology internationally. She is also the author of Setting Boundaries that Stick: How Neurobiology Can Help You Rewire Your Brain to Feel Safe, Empowered and Connected. You can work with her in small group workshops for those who want to do deep work on their boundaries, relationships and well-being. She also offers intensives in a one on one format for adult individuals and couples. Find out more about her work at julianetaylorshore.com.
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Rebecca Wong

Rebecca Wong LCSW, SEP is a relational trauma therapist and educator. She helps promote experiential learning brain states that conjure new possibilities, integrate felt sense knowings, deepen authenticity, increase trust, and develop practices to support generational wellness. Rebecca specializes in offering experiential relationship intensives for those seeking profound shifts.
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Vickey Easa

Vickey Easa LICSW has been a therapist since 2008, adding in Relational Life Therapy in 2016. She loves spreading the information of Relational Health to anyone who will listen; professionally AND personally. She sees adults, both individuals, and couples, and recently began public speaking on the topic of Healthy Self Esteem. No pets yet; her husband, two children, and watching TV keep her busy enough. Learn more about Vickey’s work at vickeyeasa.com