Episode 84

Expect Fairness

What do apes, grapes, and celery have to do with each other? They’re all on today’s episode of the WDMP podcast! Our listener question brings us to exploring what lies beneath the desire for fairness, and what’s really being communicated when one partner is feeling resentful or underserved. Topics include what it means to attack from the victim position, inherited expectations, and flinging poo. No, really!

Quotes:

"As an interdependent species, we equate fairness with justice seeking. And it’s in our wiring to feel upset…[so] when we’re in our couples and we perceive unfairness, what’s our move?"

“You get to have a pause between what you feel and what you do.”

"What is equity to you? What is fairness to you? What is justice to you? And if you get it, what needs get met for you?"

Share your questions with us at whydoesmypartner.com/contact

If you want to dive in deeper, consider attending our upcoming workshops. Learn more at whydoesmypartner.com/events

Mentioned in this episode:

WDMP Integrating Heart+Mind

About the Podcast

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Why Does My Partner
Answering questions from people who want help in relationships.

About your hosts

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Jules Shore

Juliane (Jules) Taylor Shore LMFT, LPC, SEP is an author, teacher and therapist specializing in integrative therapy for trauma recovery and couples relationships. She specializes in teaching integrative therapy and Interpersonal Neurobiology internationally. She is also the author of Setting Boundaries that Stick: How Neurobiology Can Help You Rewire Your Brain to Feel Safe, Empowered and Connected. You can work with her in small group workshops for those who want to do deep work on their boundaries, relationships and well-being. She also offers intensives in a one on one format for adult individuals and couples. Find out more about her work at julianetaylorshore.com.
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Rebecca Wong

Rebecca Wong LCSW, SEP is a relational trauma therapist and educator. She helps promote experiential learning brain states that conjure new possibilities, integrate felt sense knowings, deepen authenticity, increase trust, and develop practices to support generational wellness. Rebecca specializes in offering experiential relationship intensives for those seeking profound shifts.
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Vickey Easa

Vickey Easa LICSW has been a therapist since 2008, adding in Relational Life Therapy in 2016. She loves spreading the information of Relational Health to anyone who will listen; professionally AND personally. She sees adults, both individuals, and couples, and recently began public speaking on the topic of Healthy Self Esteem. No pets yet; her husband, two children, and watching TV keep her busy enough. Learn more about Vickey’s work at vickeyeasa.com