Episode 81
Why Am I the Only One Who Raises the Red Flag and Has to Say This Marriage Is Not Going Well?
Is there one person in your partnership that always brings up the issues? Whether that’s you or your partner, chances are there are some real feelings of disconnection and loneliness all around. On today’s episode, it’s all about how our attachment styles guide our gut instincts to either distance ourselves from conflict or try to smooth it over right away. We discuss what might be happening when there’s a mismatch between those two styles in a partnership, and how stepping up and learning to raise issues is an amazing way to show your partner that they’re being seen and heard. Of course, we offer you some tips on how to get into those conversations, and even discuss what to do to help short-circuit the anger and resentment that might be building up, helping both you and your partner come together more relationally.
We want to thank you all, our dear listeners for staying with us through this, our fourth and final episode of the Discord Builds Trust…No Really bonus mini-series! We hope that these episodes have inspired you to start leaning into the messy moments in your own lives, risking a little discord, and building a little trust…no, really!
Thanks again for listening, and we hope you join us again in just a couple of weeks for the launch of Season 5 on July 18th!
Quotes:
“All couples need to have a way of saying ‘that doesn’t feel good.'"
"Biologically, every single one of us are born to seek care. And when that care is met with care, then play comes next."
"If I’m not risking vulnerability, what am I avoiding?"
"Rage is a bid for connection."
"Most people avoid the fight because they don’t know a way out."
"What we're trying to build here is our ability to tolerate that this kind of stuff is going to happen. And our trust that we can do this together."
Share your questions with us at whydoesmypartner.com/contact
If you want to dive in deeper, consider attending our upcoming workshops. Learn more at whydoesmypartner.com/events
Mentioned in this episode:
Let's take a moment to acknowledge our amazing sponsor The Academy of Therapy Wisdom. Jules is one of their many amazing educators. And because you listen to us, the Therapy Wisdom team is offering a secret code to give you free access to one of Jules' 1 hour Wise Conversations. Visit Therapywisdom.com or click the link in the show notes and use the ‘WDMP’ discount code."
